My Journey: Be careful what you think about. Detoxing of all things negative.01/11/2019
| 6 Min Read |
In my last post, I shared my journey of shifting my mindset and accepting Jen Groover’s four-week MORE Method program which changed the entire trajectory of my life. If you missed that post you can check it out here.
Jen’s four-week method program consisted of 4 weekly calls and daily assignments. I had my first phone call with Jen and spent a little over an hour apprehensively divulging my life story, hoping to get more clarity on my self-discovery journey. Spilling my guts made my belly hurt, but by the end of it felt like a release of all negative energy. It was as if I put all of my worries, insecurities, anger into a box and handed it over to Jen; they were hers now and I was free. Within 2 seconds of speaking to me, Jen had already known how to help heal me. To start, my assignments for week 1 were as follows:
1. More time for Self-Love.
Like all mothers, I was burning the candles at both ends while putting myself last. Remember my first life-defining moment from my previous posts? I was abandoned; and as a result, I became the adult that shows up for everyone – at any cost. While being a reliable person that shows up was certainly a positive attribute, I was missing the love and care for myself that I was desperately craving. I often became cranky when I overcommitted and exhaustion took over; resenting the person that asked and being annoyed at myself for always having to show up. Putting everyone else’s priorities ahead of mine left me feeling like I never had any time to focus on my own wants/needs. Not to mention, my brain was in a fog; how could I possibly be the best version of myself if I was dazed and rushing through the motions? I wasn’t convinced that this would be too life changing but I had decided to give this program my all; so, I took it seriously. That week I started prioritizing all of my “to-do’s,”canceling things that got in the way of them and made more time for self-love. Jen made me promise to make time for things like meditation and reflexology.
Cutting things out and making more time for myself also meant asking for help from family and friends – which I NEVER did – remember my second life-defining moment? I was annoying; and as a result, I rarely asked for help for fear of being “annoying.” Understanding that these were old beliefs I was able to acknowledge them as such and move on confidently and ask for help. That week I relied on my mother-in-law to watch the kids after work, I asked a friend to pick Giovana up after school and even had my husband chip in and cook dinner one night (pasta with butter LOL). I quickly recognized that not only did everyone help out but that they were actually excited to help. This was super exciting and a huge component of transforming my mindset in my future experiences.
That week felt GREAT. I was productive and had some alone time to work on creating a version of myself that was completely fulfilled and more present. Not only did I feel more accomplished and revived but I was the best version of myself as I connected with my husband and children each evening. The positivity was radiating from my body and I was noticing that more positivity was coming into my life – more on that later.
2. The mind diet.
Jen sent me tons of educational content – I mean tons. I had to figure out how to find the time to read articles and watch videos on top of caring for the kids, my work, cooking dinner, doing the laundry etc.; But I was practicing self-love and therefore committed to prioritizing my agenda. I soon realized that the time I thought I didn’t have was hiding in a Netflix series, and the drive to work while I listened to nonsense radio talk. Jen sent me several videos a day.
These videos stretched and opened up my mind to the world of miracles. As I drove to work each morning and each evening, I would listen to these videos. Rather than monotonously driving to work and going through the motions, I was learning about the law of attraction and mindset. I was learning that even when you don’t feel like it – especially when you don’t feel like it – to SMILE and your brain adjusts and things start to change.
I noticed that by day three of Jen’s videos I was slipping off the positive bandwagon. The kids had a rough morning and I was frustrated rushing to work. My mind kept reminding me to stay positive but I couldn’t help myself. I was stuck in this swirl of negative thoughts – “why do my kids hate me? Why can’t they just get dressed in the morning? Why didn’t my husband get their shoes on? I bet everyone at work is wondering why I’m late. I’ll probably get shit when I walk through the door. I’m sure someone will call it out at the meeting. oh right, that email was so annoying….” And then something in me said STOP. I blasted the next video on Jen’s list and somehow it ended up on a part that I had already heard but needed a gentle reminder. It reminded me to smile – especially when I didn’t feel like it. I sat up straight in my car and smiled the whole way to work. This was the biggest, most obnoxious smile I could possibly make. I felt like people at red lights were staring wondering what the heck I was so happy about – which actually made me crack up. These people must think I’m a nut.” LOL! By the time I got to work, I felt better and more in tune with myself.
I noticed that I was becoming a better, happier, more compassionate leader. I would get to work each day with excitement to pass on these tips of living a better and stress-free life. I was connecting with the team deeper than ever AND I was handling difficult people like a boss. I was hooked. Each night I would get the kids in bed and traded the Netflix series for one of these videos. I was in such a positive flow that my husband even wondered what was going on and what happened to his wife. He came into bed one night and said, “I need to watch these videos.” I was excited! every night from then on, we sat and listened to Jen’s videos and even found ourselves looking for more related videos and articles beyond Jen’s list.
Each day and night was an exercise, an assignment to block out ALL toxic and negative conversations and content. It’s not that negative things wouldn’t happen – they did. My husband and I just made a conscious decision not to give them more life then they deserved. In the past, I would rush home and couldn’t WAIT to tell my husband about all the crap that went on – “do you believe he said that? Does he think I’m stupid?”. My attention was on the drama – all the drama and insecurities flying around the office and most importantly negative ego. Once we made the commitment to each other we kept each other honest – we would only talk about all the great things that happened that day. We would laugh and smile through them – it was a breath of fresh air. We felt like two totally different people and we were paying attention. If we HAD to tell each other something negative that happened that day we would only give it five minutes of life. We would even set a five-minute timer so that we didn’t harp on the negative thoughts and feelings beyond that time frame. It got to a point where being positive was second nature for us.
Our marriage was better than ever, our kids were more at ease and happier and the energy in our home was on fire! at that time we started seeing major synchronicity and strange things start to happen. More on that later.
Things that clicked for me at this time:
A. When you have a positive vibe the world around your responds. I know this sounds crazy but I challenge you to detox your life of negativity, even if it’s just for 2 days and you too will start to see the magic happen. I was on a positive vibe flow and therefore positive vibes were flowing back towards me. I would visualize negative thoughts/beliefs as this huge black cloud in my brain and see positive thoughts as big white light. I still had negative thoughts here and there but I was able to quickly identify them and push them out.
B. Don’t give negative energy more life. The world will still go on and things will still happen. It’s in your response that you give it life. Wayne Dyer said it best in one of his talks that sticks with me. He said, “When you squeeze an orange you get orange juice; And no matter how hard you try, you can never get lemon juice when you squeeze an orange; why is that? Well, that’s because when you squeeze an orange what comes out is what’s inside. Now, apply that same analogy to a person. When someone/something squeezes you, someone really, really frustrates you… do you like what comes out? because that’s what’s inside.” This ONE quote has changed me in so many ways. I thought about this all day, in every encounter. There were times where I didn’t like what came out – but rather than getting frustrated with the other person, I went deep within and tried to get a deeper understand of WHY I felt that way.
Detox all negative things from your life. Download a podcast app, or simply google positive leaders and instead of heading for that next Netflix binge, choose to learn about human behavior, mindset, and manifesting abundance. I promise it will change your life forever and you will be just as hooked as I am. here are some people to follow:
Jen Martinelli, Co-Founder
Check out the next post about my journey here
I was 35 years old, on my second home with my handsome loving husband and two small, beautiful kids. I had a pretty active social life and close, loving friends. I had worked my way up as a marketing director and head of education for a well-known company in the beauty space. This all sounds amazing, so, what is the problem? I had old built-up insecurities, low self-esteem and a feeling of being unsuccessful despite my prestigious role with my then current company; I felt like while I was giving my all at my workplace and making a visible impact, I was feeling underappreciated, overlooked and disempowered.
I was in a place in my life where, while everything seemed ok, they actually weren’t. I was living in a world of routine and wishes; wake up, drop kids at school, work, pick kids up, home, cook, homework, clean, showers, send more emails, bed; wishing for more financial freedom, wishing for more time with my family and wishing for a deeper sense of fulfillment. It was then that I started digging for more and started the journey that forever changed our lives. The journey included digging deep into my emotional past, changing my mindset, and jumping into the world of emotional intelligence. This journey completely changed the trajectory of my life and I am forever grateful. My hope, through my story, is to inspire you to transform yours.